Population

The population of this country is 237 million.

104 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And you’re sitting at your computer reading jokes…:-)

-= CHAZ =-

Advertisements

Leopard vs Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

The poodle thinks, “Oh, oh!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!”, says the leopard, “That was close! That poodle nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!”

Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.

“Where’s that damn monkey?” the poodle says, “I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”

-= CHAZ =-

Global Warming

The global average air temperature near the Earth’s surface rose 0.74 ± 0.18 °C (1.33 ± 0.32 °F) during the last 100 years. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) concludes, “most of the observed increase in globally averaged temperatures since the mid-20th century is very likely due to the observed increase in anthropogenic greenhouse gas concentrations” 

Natural phenomena such as solar variation combined with volcanoes probably had a small warming effect from pre-industrial times to 1950 and a small cooling effect from 1950 onward. These basic conclusions have been endorsed by at least 30 scientific societies and academies of science, including all of the national academies of science of the major industrialized countries. While individual scientists have voiced disagreement with some of the main conclusions of the IPCC, the overwhelming majority of scientists working on climate change are in agreement with them.

Climate model projections summarized by the IPCC indicate that average global surface temperature will likely rise a further 1.1 to 6.4 °C (2.0 to 11.5 °F) during the 21st century. The range of values results from the use of differing scenarios of future greenhouse gas emissions as well as models with differing climate sensitivity. Although most studies focus on the period up to 2100, warming and sea level rise are expected to continue for more than a millennium even if greenhouse gas levels are stabilized. The delay in reaching equilibrium is a result of the large heat capacity of the oceans.

Increasing global temperatures will cause sea level to rise, and is expected to increase the intensity of extreme weather events and to change the amount and pattern of precipitation. Other effects of global warming include changes in agricultural yields, trade routes, glacier retreat, species extinctions and increases in the ranges of disease vectors.

Remaining scientific uncertainties include the amount of warming expected in the future, and how warming and related changes will vary from region to region around the globe. There is ongoing political and public debate worldwide regarding what, if any, action should be taken to reduce or reverse future warming or to adapt to its expected consequences. Most national governments have signed and ratified the Kyoto Protocol, aimed at reducing greenhouse gas emissions.

-= CHAZ =-

Missing Dog

Hey! Someone is missing his puppy…
Let’s help him to find it !!!

-= CHAZ =-

The Maze

Are you a good gamer?

Try this one !!! 🙂

-= CHAZ =-

Dreamtime Love

Some say dreams are what they are
Emotions take both near and far
They say the heart is a burning place
Like love knows many ways

Dreams can hold the truth inside
Hint you what good things you hide
yet dreams are what they are
A truth as eternal as a single star

Yet I found love through my dreams
To me they were true so it seems
Because I believed more than the screams

Dreamtime love, love is reality
My sweet one, you are my love to me
I love you, more than as a sweet memory.

-= CHAZ =-

Beating Of Hearts

Thump thump, thump thump.
One heart alone, makes but a single beat
A sound so low and incomplete
A heart all alone, waiting to be heard
Knows not the beauty or songs of singing birds
One heart all alone, knows not love or tenderness
It feels nothing, but has emptiness
A heart alone, searches for its mate
It waits, trust fate, contemplates
Until by chance another beat it hears
That sound it has longed for all these years
Like the timbre of a bass drum
It hears an answer, another thrum

Two hearts are beating, strong and true
The sound grows louder, waiting is through
Two hearts are beating, within one another
Searching is over, they have found that lover
Two hearts are beating, they grow and grow
Together forever, never wanting to go
Two hearts are beating, as the sun goes down
A love true, a love strong, both are bound
And as the sound gently fades into night
Two hearts are beating, this they know is just right
thump thump, thump thump …

-= CHAZ =-