Personality Research

We know that every one’s habit reflects his/her personality, and this is one of researchs that tell about someone’s personality based on his/her fart(stomach wind):

wise : person who can place him/herself where and how he/she must fart based the situation and condition

flexible : person who can adapt the sound and the smell of his/her fart with the situation at the time

patient : person who can keep his/her fart until the situation is possible for it

conqueror : person who willingly won’t fart coz’ the situation is impossible for it

cheerful : person who still can laugh after smelling another person’s fart

foxy : person who fart impulsively but accuse other person tobe the farter

liar : person who fart impulsively but won’t confess when being asked

surrender : person who accept the accusation of farting impulsively

forgiving : person who honestly forgive others that accuse him/her farting impulsively

creative : person who can camouflage the sound of fart seemingly as another sound

clever : person who successfully fart in front of others without to be detected

stupid : person who guess and believe the farting sound is another sounds

lucky : person who can escape from farting impulsively accusation

unlucky : person who suddenly unpurposely smell the smell of one’s fart but doesn’t know who is the one

shy : person who like to fart slowly

high-tempered : people who can’t control the emotion when have to hold farting

open-minded : people who like farting in front of others directly

close-minded : people who will enjoy his/her fart alone

fair : person who although almost fainted coz of smelling fart but won’t accuse other if there’s no proof

like a challenge : person who recklessly fart in front of the one he/she loves

like to share : person who like his/her fart to be enjoyed together

helper : person who like helping one for farting savely without heard by another people

diligent : person who has been desiring to fart but still keep studying

lazy : person who like keep and delay his/her part

serious : person who can’t play if he/she is farting

mature : person who can accept reality that he/she is detected farting in front of others

stubborn : person who will argue if others said his/her fart smell bad

sensitive : person who feel that the smell of fart he/she breathe is his/her whereas it’s not

leader : person who able to make others wish to hear and smell his/her fart

fighter : person who will keep trying to push out his/her fart although he/she doesn’t desiring to fart

provocateur : person who can affect other to do mistakes for farting

unconcerned : person who still relaxed and doen’t care although have been farted by other

friendly : person who still want to greet others who have accuse him/her farting in front of public

revenger : person who will fart in front of one he/she hate than make the condition seemingly the one he/she hate is the farter

arrogant : person who has detected farting impulsively but not willing to apologize

confident : person who has farted impulsively but really sure it won’t be detected

loyal : person who keep loving his/her love although has accuse him/her farting in front of public

polite : person who will ask a permit when he/she want to fart

So, which one are you?

-= CHAZ =-

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Population

The population of this country is 237 million.

104 million are retired.

That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And you’re sitting at your computer reading jokes…:-)

-= CHAZ =-

Leopard vs Poodle

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company.

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

The poodle thinks, “Oh, oh!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!”, says the leopard, “That was close! That poodle nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!”

Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?”, but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear.

“Where’s that damn monkey?” the poodle says, “I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”

-= CHAZ =-

Global Warming

The global average air temperature near the Earth’s surface rose 0.74 ± 0.18 °C (1.33 ± 0.32 °F) during the last 100 years. The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) concludes, “most of the observed increase in globally averaged temperatures since the mid-20th century is very likely due to the observed increase in anthropogenic greenhouse gas concentrations” 

Natural phenomena such as solar variation combined with volcanoes probably had a small warming effect from pre-industrial times to 1950 and a small cooling effect from 1950 onward. These basic conclusions have been endorsed by at least 30 scientific societies and academies of science, including all of the national academies of science of the major industrialized countries. While individual scientists have voiced disagreement with some of the main conclusions of the IPCC, the overwhelming majority of scientists working on climate change are in agreement with them.

Climate model projections summarized by the IPCC indicate that average global surface temperature will likely rise a further 1.1 to 6.4 °C (2.0 to 11.5 °F) during the 21st century. The range of values results from the use of differing scenarios of future greenhouse gas emissions as well as models with differing climate sensitivity. Although most studies focus on the period up to 2100, warming and sea level rise are expected to continue for more than a millennium even if greenhouse gas levels are stabilized. The delay in reaching equilibrium is a result of the large heat capacity of the oceans.

Increasing global temperatures will cause sea level to rise, and is expected to increase the intensity of extreme weather events and to change the amount and pattern of precipitation. Other effects of global warming include changes in agricultural yields, trade routes, glacier retreat, species extinctions and increases in the ranges of disease vectors.

Remaining scientific uncertainties include the amount of warming expected in the future, and how warming and related changes will vary from region to region around the globe. There is ongoing political and public debate worldwide regarding what, if any, action should be taken to reduce or reverse future warming or to adapt to its expected consequences. Most national governments have signed and ratified the Kyoto Protocol, aimed at reducing greenhouse gas emissions.

-= CHAZ =-

Treadmill For Elephant

Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months.
Alaska Zoo officials debated this past year about whether to keep Maggie. She has been the only elephant in the zoo since 1997 when her companion of 14 years, Annabelle, died. Some experts believe that in order to be healthy and happy a zoo elephant should be part of a small herd of 3 or more.
The Zoo’s elephant committee decided that the risks of moving Maggie out of state and of totally changing her life were too great. Besides, she seems happy here and she has a familiar “herd” in Alaska already. Numerous Zoo officials, animal handlers and exercisers, and familiar frequent visitors spend many hours a day with her.
In order to increase Maggie’s comfort and health, zoo officials decided to give Maggie’s living quarters softer flooring and better ventilation. Zoo staff will also increase the number of hours that they spend with Maggie from 8 hours daily to 12 to 16 hours daily.
Finally, the Zoo will help Maggie get more year-round exercise and lose weight. They will purchase an elephant-sized treadmill. However, nobody has ever designed or built an elephant treadmill. Designs are being developed now, but if you have any good ideas bring them forward.

Then stand in line behind me to watch Maggie work out on her new treadmill.
Can you imagine the elephant-sized headphones and iPod that she’ll need? 🙂

Memo : Forbidden Colors

Wearing certain colors can be upsetting to other employees or to clients. Therefore, here is a list of forbidden colors, with explanations.

Blue: This color is forbidden because it is sometimes associated with sadness and depression, as in “feeling blue” or “having the blues.” It is also associated with vulgarity as in “blue humor.”

Red: This color may encourage violence in the workplace due to the fact that it is the color of blood. It is also forbidden because this color is sometimes associated with Communists and the Republican party, both of which are known to offend some people.

Yellow: This color is forbidden because it is associated with cowardice, and that is not the proper image we wish to project.

Green: This is the color of rancid food, and may upset some people who have had bad experiences with such.

Orange: This color is absolutely off limits due to the fact that it is the color of prison uniforms. We cannot permit our employees to look like escaped convicts.

Purple: This color is forbidden because it is sometimes thought of as a “gay pride” color, and therefore may be offensive to homophobes.

Brown: Besides being the color of excrement, this color also presents the problem of sounding like “Braun”, which was the last name of the woman who married Adolph Hitler.

Pink: Corporations often notify workers of employment termination by issuing a “pink slip.” The color pink could bring out unpleasant memories for people who have lost jobs, and is therefore forbidden.

Black: This color could be associated with the Black Plague or black magic, and western movie villains. We certainly cannot allow our employees to dress like villains, and any black clothing is absolutely forbidden.

Gray: This color was worn by Confederate soldiers in the Civil War, and therefore could be construed by some as projecting a pro-slavery message.

White: This is the color worn by the Ku Klux Klan. We cannot allow employees to look like Klansmen, so all clothing in this color is strictly prohibited.

This dress code will be strictly enforced. Any employees found wearing any of these forbidden colors will be required to immediately remove all clothing that is in violation. 🙂

Kaki Bau?

Kaki bau? Iiih jorok! Ini tentu jadi masalah besar. Sepatu bau, bisa membuat kaki ikut jadi bau. Ada trik-trik yang bisa Anda coba untuk menghidari kaki bau.

Jika Anda ingin membeli sepatu, belilah sepatu berkualitas yang bagus. Cari sepatu yang bagian dalamnya terbuat dari bahan alami, karena akan membuat kaki bisa bernapas lega dan lebih cepat menyerap keringat. Bahan sintesis akan membuat kaki mengeluarkan bau yang tidak enak karena kurangnya udara masuk.

Jangan pernah merasa untung membeli sepatu murah dengan kualitas rendah. Sepatu Anda akan cepat rusak. Lebih baik membeli sepatu yang sedikit lebih mahal, namun berkualitas bagus.

Selain memperhatikan pemilihan sepatu, Anda juga harus memastikan kaki selalu dalam keadaan bersih. Saat mandi, bersihkan kaki Anda dengan sikat kaki atau sikat kecil lainnya. Ini berguna untuk mengangkat sel kulit mati yang merupakan salah satu penyebab bau di kaki.

Sebagai alternatif lain, Anda dapat merendam kaki dengan air dingin. Setelah itu rendam dengan air hangat. Pori-pori kulit di kaki menjadi bersih dan akan membuat bau di kaki berkurang.

Cara lain mengatasi bau kaki adalah dengan menggati kaos kaki setiap hari. Pilih kaos kaki yang berbahan katun atau wol, hindari menggunakan bahan sintesis.

Anda juga disarankan tidak menggunakan sepatu yang sama dalam kurun waktu yang lama. Usahakan memakai sepatu bergantian, agar sepatu mendapatkan udara dan tidak lembab.

Jangan pernah membiarkan sepatu dalam keadaan yang basah. Segera keringkan apabila sepatu itu basah. Bila dibiarkan lebih dari sehari, akan menimbulkan bau yang tidak enak. Kaki Anda pun jadi ikut bau.Jika Anda sudah mengikuti trik-trik di atas, bau kaki bisa hilang. Rasa percaya diri pun kembali Anda dapatkan.

-= CHAZ =-